NEWS FLASH God Loves Me EVEN When I Cry

    When Jesus was fully man and fully God on earth He WEPT... 

   I think this passage is overlooked for it's value as an emotional side of deep relational love as our Creator had displayed. John 11:35 Jesus wept.  Jesus shared the sorrow of death.  Now I back up to why i am starting my blog post off in such a manner..  Over a year and a half ago many hopes and dreams of a future friendship with a possible courtship ended suddenly when her life was taken by a accident in california with a drunk driver.  This may sound very odd to say that through this whole series of events some amazing blessings have come out of tragedy..  I have become much more dependent on my God daily, and her sister has also been a huge blessing as we have both encouraged, shared, and become very close friends as well.. 

       With that said there are moments I find myself 

  being bombarded by reminders outside of my control such as songs and sayings as I can't believe the repetition and frequency of such experiences as of late..  I bring all this up to make a point before I hear such words as "STOP living in the past" and "you need to be happy and more Joyous" or "smile"  To be honest with you I have been sitting this blog post aside as it was written days ago but I felt condemnation might occur about my weakness or I might offend/strain a relationship I have currently....  That became a ridiculous thought to me as I shouldn't be fearful of honesty and sharing ME with YOU.. I think I have felt pressured that if I was remembering her I was somehow "not getting over it and moving on" or "lingering (too) long in the past of dreams lost" 

   That is when I start scratching my head saying to myself....  REALLY??

    We are not perfected in righteousness yet as stated in

 Philippians 1:6 I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion  until the day of Christ Jesus. 

    I am still looking for the verses and please correct me here if I am wrong that we are never to feel pain and sorrow and the definition of how long or short a grieving process is that dictates a "model" of christian character..  My God made me and i have real human emotions. I see many verses in my Bible that talk about the sadness, pain, and ugliness occurring due to the fallen world we are living in..   David "A man after God's own heart" in the Psalms was a very very passionate emotional man displaying much angst and sadness crying out to the Lord with HUGE emotion as he was reliant on his Lord God and Savior for justice, and the promises of God.   Paul another prominent figure in the Bible cried out for his affliction to be removed over and over, although God desired to leave Paul with his affliction, Paul came to rejoice in his sufferings. 

        So to the best of my humble opinions I came up with a few reasons why it might just be so important for others around me to feel the need to instruct or harshly advocate forgetting any past hurtful or traumatic experience that God is using to shape me..

   1)  If I am happy and smiling all the time they don't have to feel guilty or obligated to become "personal" or relationally involved.

2) The Pharisee reasoning... They want to show me how my life can look more like theirs because they are smiling and joyful while in the public eye and that translates into a "closer walk with jesus and more knowledgeable in the scriptures"

3) I could be projecting a "inappropriate" mannerism that would conflict with their teaching that Christianity is Joyous and without mourning and pain.. 

      Relational is honest transparency that is open and truthful. NOT lying, fake, and unrealistic..   Anyone outside of "organized religion" can smoke out a "fake" christian any day of the week..  Unbelievers know this life on earth is far from a picnic everyday..  

     Am I promoting staying in a state of depression "NO"!!!

     But I insist please don't be quick to isolate believers and unbelievers who may be in the middle of a trial, situational transitional moment, or time of brokenheartedness.. Even if you thought there should be a time limit because you have judged them on your past experiences.  Come along side one another when they need a friend the most without prejudgments and with a heart filled with love ready to weep with them if it is needed.. 

         So upon more introspection, prayer, and studying Psalms in particular, I realized that i had more similarities to a man like David inside me because of my very sensitive heart which often is referred to in a negative way as a man that wears his heart on his sleeve...  I am a real softy, created that way by my God, and often unafraid to become emotionally attached to see deep into another connecting to them so relationally that I have even found myself recently with the crazy wacky desire that my enemies know my God, King, and Savior so that when the day comes they will join God's people in Heaven... 

My Heart Has Begun to Long For This..

      When I say i care about you or I will pray for you or when someone I know offers me a kind gesture, or relational encouragement I will actually "well" up inside w/a heart overwhelmed by tears of sadness or happiness...  

OK WAIT A MINUTE STOP....  A MANLY MOMENT IS ABOUT TO OCCUR... 

      This is where I insert that I am also a rugged Man's man lol...  ha ha ha ...  I am unafraid of taking the role God has blessed me with being a man. Plus I am unafraid of swinging an axe exposing a Paul Bunyan side as well as other minor events such as arm wrestling, playing in the mud, riding mechanical bulls, weightlifting 300 lbs dead lifting, and the physical moment in NOVEMBER when males get the freedom from a razor in the "NO SHAVE NOVEMBER" monthly holiday

 No...  ok but seriously....  I truly hope that "all" of you extend your hearts to anyone in the "place" where they are at whether they are grieving, feeling empty or low on faith, or attacked for standing firm morally... 

Give up the humanistic fleshly desire to condescend and JUDGE...  We are not the judge.... We are called to LOVE..    LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE..

     Please you just might find out there was something you did not understand and there is a very valuable place for you to be in the life of that individual :) That may bring you both to a future of happiness as you stepped out to be relational with them where "they" were not where "you" desired them to be...  

      Getting personal may be uncomfortable or "force" you out of a controlled comfort zone but i truly believe a Christian life or Christ like life is to be very relational as we strive to LOVE like our Jesus Christ exemplified.  

           This is very important .....

  If people start to see you as an individual that always has a very self righteous OPINION for every situation you may find other people unwilling to open up to you about a serious need in their life for fear of hearing a derogatory judgement..

   Please be someone that anyone would desire to share with so God might be introduced in a very genuine real manner via truth and love...   Please watch this very supportive video that may hit this matter home ...  

I wanna show you this and write about that while you think about someone else....

   I start off first with a video from Francis Chan...  I might have been a little repetitious with this video from an earlier blog post but as I watched it once more I felt led to share it again with someone who might possibly be you... 

 

                As you are heading in the direction of that video I choose to turn you to another direction.....   over here over here >>>>>>>>    ok ok my A.D.D. side kicks into high gear as I formulate another sentence for you all to read...  look to the next paragraph below...

                    Have you ever been touched by someone else's life that crossed your path or brushed by your personal bubble or sphere? Changing your life dramatically through the experiences shared ?  Think about that? The impact of that such person has already entered into your brain as a thought while you read I bet....  

                          Who was it? Teacher, Mentor, Grandparent, Parent, Sibling, Relative, or friend that stuck closer than any family member ever could?

                                  To be honest with you as of right now many eligible names and faces came to my brain but i choose the most important personal life changer I can realistically, truthfully, emphatically, feel 100 percent confident in truth to say....  I choose to remember my very personal Jesus in such a way..

                                  I choose to change my whole entire being out of love, respect, adoration, hope, and purpose for a God so immensely endearing that i can't help anything less than the current life change he creates from the inside out...

ok now that i started i will continue the blog post as a part 2 really really really soon like :)  but i ask even if you haven't ever commented before it helps to me to know who you are that i might be interacting with so please i implore you to just say hi...  

Love your blogger friend Timothy     

I Have Had My Fill of Emptiness

  Hey, yep it's me again..  I apologize for the semi long absence from my last blog post, but I feel that for me to be sincere my writing must be done when it is laid upon me to write..

    I will start my post today with somewhat of a confession "personal" in nature.. Before I began the very first post of my blogs I was definitely "struggling" w/memories, feeling of uselessness, and a very sad demeanor longing for relational happiness, and a sense of fulfillment or purpose.. Before a surfing trip I sat down to dinner with my very close surfer bro/mentor/coworker...  

       I began to explain the nights of "wailing" and "crying" out to my Father(God) with loneliness as "my" dreams, "my" hopes, were lost as I turned to those vivid memories re"living" them in pitiful repetition.. I explained to my friend I was crying out to God to fill me for I felt so empty at night alone in my apartment...

       This is when he asked me ....  What are you or Who are you investing yourself in? He proceeded to discuss with me about the similarities of my life as a Jar...  He explained a story of a Jar that   was full and started pouring its contents into others glasses and upon being emptied out came back to the well to be filled... Then there was the jar that was filled at one time becoming stagnant because the water wasn't being distributed anywhere... 

      Yep, you guessed it .... I was just hit upside the head like the taste of bleu cheese mixed with horseradish :/  I was holding very stagnant water and not appropriately using the vessel as God had intended me to be used...

      All this time before I had been selfishly crying out looking for personal happiness in self fulfillment instead of GIVING myself in a process of God through me.. I was soon to find out a joy like no other in my past.. 

       For I was not made to receive for myself but the joy is found when I become a vehicle or vessel for God's love and blessings to be poured out onto others.  :)

        So my blog post today is to encourage you to empty yourself of everything for another or others in your lives and yes even if they are an "enemy" 

       Luke 14:12-14

  He also said to the one who invited Him, "When you give a lunch or a dinner, don't invite your friends, your brothers, your relatives, or your rich neighbors, because they might invite you back, and you will be repaid. On the contrary, when you host a banquet, invite those who are poor, maimed, lame, or blind. And you will be blessed, because they cannot repay you; for you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.

    Luke 6:32-36

  If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High. For He is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.

  This brings me to share with you a few videos of some of my favorite charitable organizations that interest me...  

    With many more ways to give in your own local areas where God leads you... Through a smile, warm jacket for the person you pass by in the winter, or local charity organizations...  Just listen to the direction God is placing in your life....  I have found so much truth in the true Joy of giving and I know you will find the same as God makes it real in your life as well...

   Much love....    Timothy

   I leave you with a video that has meant a lot to me as well