Friday, October 26, 2012

NEWS FLASH God Loves Me EVEN When I Cry

    When Jesus was fully man and fully God on earth He WEPT... 

   I think this passage is overlooked for it's value as an emotional side of deep relational love as our Creator had displayed. John 11:35 Jesus wept.  Jesus shared the sorrow of death.  Now I back up to why i am starting my blog post off in such a manner..  Over a year and a half ago many hopes and dreams of a future friendship with a possible courtship ended suddenly when her life was taken by a accident in california with a drunk driver.  This may sound very odd to say that through this whole series of events some amazing blessings have come out of tragedy..  I have become much more dependent on my God daily, and her sister has also been a huge blessing as we have both encouraged, shared, and become very close friends as well.. 

       With that said there are moments I find myself 

  being bombarded by reminders outside of my control such as songs and sayings as I can't believe the repetition and frequency of such experiences as of late..  I bring all this up to make a point before I hear such words as "STOP living in the past" and "you need to be happy and more Joyous" or "smile"  To be honest with you I have been sitting this blog post aside as it was written days ago but I felt condemnation might occur about my weakness or I might offend/strain a relationship I have currently....  That became a ridiculous thought to me as I shouldn't be fearful of honesty and sharing ME with YOU.. I think I have felt pressured that if I was remembering her I was somehow "not getting over it and moving on" or "lingering (too) long in the past of dreams lost" 

   That is when I start scratching my head saying to myself....  REALLY??

    We are not perfected in righteousness yet as stated in

 Philippians 1:6 I am sure of this, that He who started a good work in you will carry it on to completion  until the day of Christ Jesus. 

    I am still looking for the verses and please correct me here if I am wrong that we are never to feel pain and sorrow and the definition of how long or short a grieving process is that dictates a "model" of christian character..  My God made me and i have real human emotions. I see many verses in my Bible that talk about the sadness, pain, and ugliness occurring due to the fallen world we are living in..   David "A man after God's own heart" in the Psalms was a very very passionate emotional man displaying much angst and sadness crying out to the Lord with HUGE emotion as he was reliant on his Lord God and Savior for justice, and the promises of God.   Paul another prominent figure in the Bible cried out for his affliction to be removed over and over, although God desired to leave Paul with his affliction, Paul came to rejoice in his sufferings. 

        So to the best of my humble opinions I came up with a few reasons why it might just be so important for others around me to feel the need to instruct or harshly advocate forgetting any past hurtful or traumatic experience that God is using to shape me..

   1)  If I am happy and smiling all the time they don't have to feel guilty or obligated to become "personal" or relationally involved.

2) The Pharisee reasoning... They want to show me how my life can look more like theirs because they are smiling and joyful while in the public eye and that translates into a "closer walk with jesus and more knowledgeable in the scriptures"

3) I could be projecting a "inappropriate" mannerism that would conflict with their teaching that Christianity is Joyous and without mourning and pain.. 

      Relational is honest transparency that is open and truthful. NOT lying, fake, and unrealistic..   Anyone outside of "organized religion" can smoke out a "fake" christian any day of the week..  Unbelievers know this life on earth is far from a picnic everyday..  

     Am I promoting staying in a state of depression "NO"!!!

     But I insist please don't be quick to isolate believers and unbelievers who may be in the middle of a trial, situational transitional moment, or time of brokenheartedness.. Even if you thought there should be a time limit because you have judged them on your past experiences.  Come along side one another when they need a friend the most without prejudgments and with a heart filled with love ready to weep with them if it is needed.. 

         So upon more introspection, prayer, and studying Psalms in particular, I realized that i had more similarities to a man like David inside me because of my very sensitive heart which often is referred to in a negative way as a man that wears his heart on his sleeve...  I am a real softy, created that way by my God, and often unafraid to become emotionally attached to see deep into another connecting to them so relationally that I have even found myself recently with the crazy wacky desire that my enemies know my God, King, and Savior so that when the day comes they will join God's people in Heaven... 

My Heart Has Begun to Long For This..

      When I say i care about you or I will pray for you or when someone I know offers me a kind gesture, or relational encouragement I will actually "well" up inside w/a heart overwhelmed by tears of sadness or happiness...  


      This is where I insert that I am also a rugged Man's man lol...  ha ha ha ...  I am unafraid of taking the role God has blessed me with being a man. Plus I am unafraid of swinging an axe exposing a Paul Bunyan side as well as other minor events such as arm wrestling, playing in the mud, riding mechanical bulls, weightlifting 300 lbs dead lifting, and the physical moment in NOVEMBER when males get the freedom from a razor in the "NO SHAVE NOVEMBER" monthly holiday

 No...  ok but seriously....  I truly hope that "all" of you extend your hearts to anyone in the "place" where they are at whether they are grieving, feeling empty or low on faith, or attacked for standing firm morally... 

Give up the humanistic fleshly desire to condescend and JUDGE...  We are not the judge.... We are called to LOVE..    LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE..

     Please you just might find out there was something you did not understand and there is a very valuable place for you to be in the life of that individual :) That may bring you both to a future of happiness as you stepped out to be relational with them where "they" were not where "you" desired them to be...  
      Getting personal may be uncomfortable or "force" you out of a controlled comfort zone but i truly believe a Christian life or Christ like life is to be very relational as we strive to LOVE like our Jesus Christ exemplified.  

           This is very important .....

  If people start to see you as an individual that always has a very self righteous OPINION for every situation you may find other people unwilling to open up to you about a serious need in their life for fear of hearing a derogatory judgement..

   Please be someone that anyone would desire to share with so God might be introduced in a very genuine real manner via truth and love...   Please watch this very supportive video that may hit this matter home ...  


  1. Wow! this post spoke to me soo very much Mr. Timothy! In Ecclesiastes, it says that there is a time for everything.. "a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance" (Ecclesiastes 3:4).. At one point in my life, there were soo many tears and I couldn't stop them from falling. It helped to tell people (with blogposts and such) how God works through us when we face trials of many kinds. I had people tell me that I shouldn't go posting stuff about going through trials and hard times but I disagreed very much. I know what it feels like to go through times that hurt so very much and one thing that I am so thankful for was when other Christians shared how God had helped them through hard times and trials. It helps so much to know that it's ok to break down.. To know that God will Heal our broken hearts "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." (Psalm 147:3).. He is the only One that gives comfort when we think the tears wont stop. I am so glad I read this post! And also, I learned too that many times, God has placed things on my heart to share with others but had second thoughts on posting because it might offend some persons I know, but I thought, "This is truly what God placed on my heart to share with whoever reads this. I shouldn't feel afraid to post this because it may be very convicting to some".. So now I post 'Whatever' I feel the Lord wants me to share with my readers. I am very glad you did post this. :)

    (Sorry this comment was so long haha)

  2. I agree with everything that Rachel said <3 and I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your heart with us as you shared this post. It's always best to not fear what man may think if you feel God leading you to share something.. But I do know what it's like to be afraid of what others might think or say about it. It can be scary to put yourself our there like that. Anyway, I loved this post! (And I'm glad I finally took the time to read it!)
    Thanks for sharing, Mr. Timothy!! :)

  3. Mr. Timothy, I thank the Lord for our friendship. You have been a real blessing to me. As I've walked through your trials the last 6 or 7 years with you, I have seen a man mature in unexplainable ways. I am sorry to say I was one of your scoffers, until I got to know who you really were and how big your heart really is. You have been an inspiration to me and you have opened my eyes to the wonderful things God has for me. You are definitely a man after God's own heart and I believe God have placed you in my life at this time for a very real purpose. God Bless brother.