Delving right into a place reminiscent of King David, a man i admire for the inspired works of His heart showing as we read the Psalms I found myself writing very fast as that of a man hoping to get every last ounce of thought out of my head before the fleeting memories escaped as quickly as such thoughts intensely projected themselves through my fingers upon the pages of my notebook....
This is what flowed and what I share... I know this may bring forth emotions or expressions of "little faith" For this i am sorry.. I am a man.. I struggle... So I share for this is what i truly believe i am to share right now with all of you no matter how it makes me look in the faith with my Holy Dad... I am writing my notes as relational prose for you.. I wrote as follows...
I Love the Creator, King of all the Universe.... My soul longs for the future, a day when my tears and loneliness, hurt, and pain cease... I am real.. A man that prays to God.. Crying out w/a human frailty.. A peasant to a King.. A time of Safety conversing through warm tears streaming down my face as they combine with a stream of water bursting forth from above... (A Shower Prayer)
Raw, realistic, relational, bonding with my Father... Coming to Him Naked, stripped of Hypocrisy for He sees you as you are and loves you.. So I hide not my life from Him.. Bless the Lord oh my soul as my comfort comes from His #Truth, His #Word, His #Life. Look up though the steamy mirrors fogging, my pores expand, my heart relaxes..
Feeling the truth in faith of His return. A day when the "Proving" and "Answers" aren't demanded through our testimony. A day when everyone will face the truth face to face...
God will be known and God will take me in as His own. My Father eternal, loving, peaceful, shuddering, falling flat worshiping my King with the "JUST PRAISE" He has DESERVED from all nations ever since the day Adam was formed..
I am a part of believers that will have peace through Christ.. The heartaches and troubles I feel burdened with will forever be gone.... Let my burden of blame and guilt be removed right now my Jesus even when every moment of my life hasn't been so stellar and complacently used to shine your Life and Light through me to the lives so close and very dear to me.
My God, I begin to understand as my small human mind reaches for the feelings you must have endured the moment Judas betrayed your Son Jesus and others were blinded to the reality of your BELOVED SON..
He is everything... My soul cries out for EVERYONE to see THAT... This is my deepest prayer that even if in my DEATH you might bring someone LIFE by turning a desperate soul to YOU.. May my writings appease an impulsive heart to run in your direction for Stability, Wisdom, Seeking the promises of Your amazing unseen PLAN..
The tip of my ballpoint pen grinds so firmly bearing down in my clenched left palm.. I write so aggressively now.. Help me to know that in my suffering those watching me or reading my angst, understand that Jeremiah 29:11 Doesn't mean that some of us don't go to the "lions den" for the sake of a "king Darius" or onlooker (unbelieving soul) who might be watching us as they come running to YOU Jesus because they witness the life of a christian through struggles, pressures, and pain..
I send them your way Oh Lord, My soul cries out for this... I might let the people know before it is too late... The hour is coming we may not live here tomorrow so let my last breath SCREAM your name to anyone listening.. Let me beg of you to turn them OH LORD.. Bring them to the TRUTH.. So they Listen, Read your Bible, Ask, Pray, I plead with you as it is time to turn to the King..
Lord I ask you to Open their eyes, renewing the years of scales covering fleshly humanity by opening those eyes making them beautiful... This Lord I plead with you... I LOVE YOU
As I was writing this a song very dear to my heart came on in the coffee cafe I was inhabiting.... My emotions overcame me as my eyes have been on the verge of watery heartfelt tears as my faith is still so very small knowing I cant seem to convince my daughter of the importance of a relationship with Jesus... so I leave you with a video i intend to watch tonight after i post my blog...
I thank God for you all and ask for prayers for my own small family ....
I'll start out by just saying I feel some, if not all of what you wrote above. I couldn't help but start crying as I read this prayer. As I was reading it I started pouring my heart out as well. Little prayers now and then are good, but there's nothing better than a deep heartfelt prayer. A prayer that brings tears to my eyes, humbleness to my attitude , thankfulness being poured out from the deepest corners of my heart, and just expressing the way that I feel. It's like a good shoulder to cry on. In my Fathers arms I will find answers, rest, and peace. Even when I feel all alone, hopeless, and confused God is there with arms held open. Nothing is too difficult for Him. Our biggest problems are so simple for the Lord to fix. Nothing, I mean NOTHING is impossible for our God !! I just have to keep reminding myself that daily. I am weak, but He is strong. My life is not definite, but I know that whatever happens, God has my soul. Keeping that faith and relationship strong through deep prayer and quiet time with the Lord is the most important thing to me. Nothing comes close, ever.
ReplyDeleteThanks again for your amazing posts!! You have definitely been a huge blessing in my life as well to many many others. God is definitely using you! And of course my prayers are always with you!
Katey, know this... Your words were felt deep for I know this post touched you the way God intended it... Your response confirmed why this post flowed from my pen as my God knew what He wanted as the subject matter for this post... Your prayers and sensitivity are felt and so encouraging and may others enjoy the deep relational honest communication with the Holy Father
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